Marriage Moats-Time Flies

Published: Tue, 04/30/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

The chicks slept in their new coop. No rogue raccoons broke through the wire, no hawks pried apart the roof slats. I am feeling residual guilt about all the camp fires I sat around, singing about a fox with a greasy chin who went out on a chilly night. No vulpine quadruped is going to lick his chops on my chickens. They have names, and fluffy feathers, and snacking preferences. And one day they will have children. Infertile ones but still.

Yesterday I visited a friend's coop and checked out her flock. I admit I was shocked at how big her hens are. Somehow my imagination had prevented the inevitable from seeping in. Our chicks will grow up. I was jarred by the sheer bulk, the uncuddleability of them. Then she took us inside to see her starter chicks under the lamp. They were tiny. The twins and I held them against our necks and squealed astute comments about how small they were. I tried to rewind back a month to when ours would fit in a cupped palm, but amnesia sets in early.

Last evening we had a mentor meeting. Ten of us with a collective history of over a century and a half gathered around chips and chocolate to talk about protecting marriage. People shared stories about the rough years, and what kept the wolves at bay. For one couple stress descended in the months leading up to the wedding. The first year was a breeze by comparison. For another couple it has been the adjustment to the empty nest, and easing into grandparenting. Several have buried parents in the last two years, and spoke about the impact.

I felt nestled in the safety of the group. Each of us face the uncertainties of health, and finances. None of us are spared the ache of disappointments and tears. Yet we are in for the long haul.

After we said goodbye and closed the door I turned out the lights, and cleared a few dishes. We slept well.

Photo by Joy Feerrar

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