John likes to show me cool things he finds on the internet. Reddit, and Imagur sometimes make him laugh or think. Last week he brought over his laptop to show me the weather report for Kansas. Not that we know anyone who lives there except Dorothy. But he found it interesting that the eastern half of the state had temperatures in the high sixties and seventies while the western half was in the teens and low twenties. The line down the middle was the edge of a cold front, sucking away the warmer spring air. A person could easily drive from tank top terrain to boots and mittens in a matter of minutes. Crazy.

 

It reminded me of myself. Some days I am of two minds. Excited and scared. Hopeful and discouraged. Angry and loving. Even as I type it I shrug at the inconsistency but what can I say? When John is late coming home I am ticked. And thrilled that he is safe. When the woman comes to pick up her quilt, the one I have been working on for a few months, I will be excited to see her reaction. And terrified. 

 

It can be gnarly when people give mixed messages to their partner. 

 

"Hey, honey, wanna cuddle? BTW did you remember to take out the trash? Tomorrow is collection day."

 

Every time I go camping I have two reactions, often separated by a few minutes. 

 

"Look at those trees. Why don't we do this more often?"

 

"Ugh. This is so much work, why did I agree to it again?"