Marriage Moats-Altruism

Published: Mon, 03/18/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

I read an article about teaching altruism. I wonder if they could become mainstream in our educational system. We might call it the 3 C's. Compassion, Communication and Connection.

Kindness can be nurtured, it turns out. In a short video a little girl still in diapers is encouraged to share her treats with a toy. The scientists report that these efforts at an early age can have long lasting effects. Serving others is a powerful tool for people who have experienced loss and in addiction recovery.

God knows the trick. Yesterday I was grouchy. But the clock said it was time to show up for a rehearsal for the marionette show my family is helping create for Easter morning. As I wiggled the strings of my puppet I began picturing a room full of rapt children, decked in their Sunday best. The orneriness lost its grip and fell off my shoulders like dandruff.

Researchers at Berkley published the results of a study showing that kindness increases happiness. Others found that the willingness to help starts very young.

This week thirty school aged kids will take a break from academics to care for a room full of babies and toddlers. I love seeing twelve year olds who willingly push tykes on bikes, knowing that reciprocation is unlikely. Yet important stuff happens in that scenario, as the founders of Roots of Empathy have discovered. It is a potent antidote to bullying.

Marriage is an ideal setting for experiments in kindness. Putting your partner's needs before your own is no longer theoretical. It is ubiquitous. Add a baby or two to the equation and self interest gets elbowed out more effectively than a short person in line for the playoffs.

This is a good thing.

Photo by Jenny Stein

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