Marriage Moats-Appearances

Published: Sun, 03/17/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

There is an incredible dance team that manipulates appearances. In the space of four minutes they become the Empire State Building, a dog, an elephant, the Statue of Liberty, a bench, a motorcycle, a lamp post, a taxi, and a gigantic head. They create wind, motion, excitement, surprise and fame without saying a word. It is all an appearance, yet it feels real. When two bodies converge into one form at the same instant, the message of "penguin" is irrefutable.

I watched a third time, trying to pry my senses from the appearance and back to the reality. I could identify an arm and fluttering fingers. But it took concentration, and was easily lost.

A while back a friend was feeling overwhelmed by her circumstances. The colliding effects of her living situation, car and finances left her with the conclusion that she was not going to survive. Then the scene shifted. Now she feels surrounded by the loving protection of her friends and God.

Life plunks us in the center of a swirling dance of appearances.

This marriage is empty

My kids are messing up

There is no solution

I don't love him anymore

Appearances can be convincing. It sure looks as if the sun came up. A chrysalis seems lifeless. An egg has no more promise than a rock.

Then as if by magic, the scene swivels. What a moment ago was a still and silent cage bursts forth with life. We realize that the sun was constant all along. It is us who moved.

We feel trapped and unable to break free. But then a friend brings dinner. Insurance comes through. A conversation untangles. Compassion flowers. Forgiveness emerges.

Photo by Joy Feerrar

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