Marriage Moats-Elephant Whisperer

Published: Thu, 03/21/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

I read it in two days. The meals were boring at best, when I raised my head from the African bush to remember that I had children who occasionally needed food.

The Elephant Whisperer is a virtual safari for those of us who cannot manage to travel to Zululand in person. Lawrence Anthony tells stories about the herd of rogue elephants that he imports to his reserve. They have been traumatized by the murder of several of their family, and that heartbreak erupts in five tons of stampeding, angry behemoths. Yet this man treats them with dignity and kindness, and in a matter of weeks lays the groundwork for a trusting relationship with these loyal giants. Communication travels via his spoken words, but more importantly through a rumbling that elephants use to connect with over hundreds of miles.

Lawrence does not credit himself with being gifted. He believes that communication is as natural as the breeze. We need to learn how to heed it. His experiences with animals who can read minds are remarkable. Somehow they came to understand that he was their ally, and not only would he protect them, they came to protect him. When he travels away from the reserve they are waiting in welcome as he drives in through the gate. They develop a playful relationship, such that when they become curious about his wife's garden and come tramping through it for a taste of herbs he squirts them with a hose for retribution. They opened their mouths to enjoy the drink.

The final tribute to their friendship was when Lawrence died. The elephants knew through some untraceable means, and traveled twelve hours through the bush to come to his house where they stood in respectful vigil.

In reflecting on this man's testimony I find myself wondering about the difficulty many of us humans have in communication. What can we learn from elephants about attention and messages that travel outside of language?

Sometimes when I am with John in a social situation I feel an urge to control him. He is talking too much, or too little, or about the wrong things. Even if I keep my lips closed I am mentally reprimanding him.

This book suggests to me that there is a gentler way. The way of the elephants.

Photo by Joy Feerrar

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