Marriage Moats-Brainwashed

Published: Mon, 02/25/13


Marriage Moats Caring for Marriage

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Last week a friend told me I had brainwashed her. It jolted me, but she explained.
"In a good way. You have taught me to invest in my marriage. To make it a priority."
 
Although I have a negative association with the concept of brainwashing, when I pick the word apart it's not so bad. There are thoughts that are better rinsed away. Fairy tales are part of our marriage education early on, and one of their messages is that all the drama happens before the wedding. After that, the complete marriage experience can be summed up in five words.
 
They lived happily ever after. The implication is that there is nothing more to tell. You coast from the alter into the sunset. 
 
The woman I teach preschool with sings a little poem to her class. In it the little old man and the little old woman have a quarrel, and each of them goes off to sulk. Then she pops her head up. He pops his head up, and they kiss. The first time I heard it I almost burst into applause. 
 
There are children's books that tell the story of reconciliation too. The First Strawberries is a sweet book about a Native American couple who argue. The world of nature around them conspires to help them find forgiveness. Not a bad message for four bucks.
 
The Prince of the Dolomites is another that shows how a husband moves heaven and earth to save his marriage. Then there is The Rainbabies, a precious tale about how an older couple work together to find and care for twelve tiny babies against many dangers.
 
There are a list of fifty children's books that construct a rich curriculum of marriage education on the Caring for Marriage website. If we learn what healthy relationships are really like early in the game there is no need for brainwashing later. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Photo by Jenny Stein
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