Marriage Moats-Jingle Jangle

Published: Mon, 02/18/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

I have two silver bracelets with inscriptions on them. One says a quote from Corinthians that starts Love is patient, and the other says For with God All Things are Possible. They used to be on different wrists, but one day I was about to plunge my right hand in soapy water and slid the bracelets on my left arm. I noticed the pleasant tinkling when they dance against each other. It makes the quotes alive for me in another dimension, now that I can hear them as well as feel and see them. They had the potential to sing when they were apart, but the distance kept them silent.

This past weekend there was a conference about marriage. Seventy grown ups and forty children gathered in one place for the same purpose. Everywhere I overheard the tinkling laughter of friends chatting and children riding scooters. Usually, we all plod away on our marriages in solitude, behind closed doors. That works well enough, but when we come together even for a day, the clinking spreads like so many bells.

One of the enemies of relationships is the illusion that we are isolated.

No one understands let alone shares our struggles, and could not possibly ease the distress.

But community can break apart that lie, like a drop of detergent in a blob of grease or a stick in a bubble. The truth is that we are in this together, and the dividers between us only obscure that reality when we forget to stand up and peer into the next cubicle.

It was magical to lower the barriers for a blink of time, and leave the silence behind.

Photo by Stephen Conroy

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