John and I hung out with a younger couple last week. Their kids were in bed and we sat down on their comfy couch with the dog. There were photos of children on the walls, and in the revolving electronic frame. We had a round of How are you's? and settled in. I invited them to tell us something they appreciate about each other. 

 

"There are so many things... everything." Then this wife of ten years launched into a few stories about how he supports their family. She tacked on an apology for going on too long. I melted.

 

He smiled while he spoke about what a wonderful mother she is, her forte at organization, and how eager he is to come home each night even if the kids are screaming five seconds after he walks through the door. They aren't fooled by the ads that say to wait until retirement to be happy. They are living the good life right now.

 

She explained that they have plunked Marriage into their budget, not after everything else has been stretched thin, but in the first round, where it belongs. They both enjoy dancing, and signed up for lessons.  I mentioned that they seem to be quick to laugh together.

 

"It's my New Year's resolution," she admitted. "I laugh before I think it's funny, and it helps me lighten up."

 

The conversation migrated to some of the struggles endemic to two jobs and three kids, a mortgage and getting good health care. But it was the subplot, not the main event.

 

 

 

Photo by Jenny Stein

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