Marriage Moats-Repetitive Thanks

Published: Mon, 02/11/13

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

I was chatting with a friend who lets me use her photos for moats. Has for years. She was describing how the effort she makes to volunteer at her child's school is starting to drag.

"When I first started, I got a lot of thanks from the head teacher. That felt good. But lately she has slid into an assumption that I will keep coming, and frankly it is getting harder to pack up my kids and hustle over."

I agreed that she deserves ongoing gratitude. Absolutely. She got thanked last November when she came in November. If she arrives in February she should be sprinkled with fresh thanks. Then I gulped.

When was the last time I thanked her for her ongoing generosity with photography? I use her images every week, and they bring clarity to my words. They are varied, interesting, playful, lovely.

"Hey, I have not expressed my gratitude for you in awhile. I really do appreciate your pictures. Thank you."

It was not a google chat or facetime, but I think she smiled.

Earlier today another friend was sharing that it gets old making dinner for her husband when his acknowledgment peters out. He wants her to keep cooking. She wants him to keep noticing when she does. Not a bad deal, as symbiotic relationships go.

Thank you Jenny, Joy, Kristin, Andy, Chara, Brita, Stephen and Kat for the chance to use your remarkable photographs. Without you my messages would be naught but letters strung into words. With them, they expand with color and feeling.

Thank you for schlepping your cameras out on a gray day to catch a melting icicle, or a child sledding.

Thank you for learning how to leverage the waning light over a field, to lessen the distance between you and a chickadee. Thank you for traipsing to basketball games, college plays, libraries and dance recitals. Thank you for laying low to capture the sweaty lock of matched wrestlers, and a tender moment between a father and his girl. Thank you for finding beauty in the swish of ordinary lives.

You are a blessing to many.

Photo by Joy Feerrar

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