John has been generous about letting me drive our newer car, the one called Midge. Her name seemed obvious both because of the license plate but because my mother, whose name is Midge, is smiling down on the fact that her youngest daughter has a car with lane assist and a back up camera. 

 

When I am driving John sometimes helps me turn. You know the tendency of passengers to lean forward and look at oncoming traffic to inform the person behind the wheel. 

 

"All clear," he will assure me. 

 

The thing is that when someone leans forward it actually blocks the view of the driver. I am not faulting anyone, because I do it too. 

 

The other day I was driving to the gym with Benjamin and noticed at a particularly obscured intersection, that he did not. It occurred to me that he never does. I felt tender to witness his complete trust that I would be careful. Which I try to be. 

 

I thought about my own tendency to lean in when God is at the wheel. 

 

"This would be a good time to turn, " I pray. "Take things in a different direction." 

 

Which is of course indicative of a sneaky suspicion that He is not being careful. 

 

Which He is.