There is a clever video about a nail. It playfully captures a dynamic that shows up in my marriage when John is eager to fix a problem and I am asking him simply to listen. 

 

It turns out that good listening is like a golden ticket. The other day I ran into a friend who looked like she was about to spill over into tears. We sat down and ignored the world while she talked about impending pressures closing in on her. In that short exchange she was able to get even a small distance from those issues, and could respond from her own strength. She did not need rescuing. 

 

It works for me. Sometimes I wonder if there is almost a spiritual component. When I can extract the cloudy thinking from my brain, and place it squarely on the table before a witness, it frees up my capacity to act. It shifts my mental motor from neutral to second gear. 

 

Yet mindful attention is still as rare as unicorns. The other day I was at a social event, and just observed. I hesitate to even call what I heard conversation since the sequential sound bites were not really responses to what someone else said, as much as they were verbal leapfrogging over them. 

 

While the video I mentioned is tongue in cheek, or rather nail in forehead, it reminds me that my full attention is a worthy offering.