The plenary speakers at the conference were fabulous. I knew they would be, but not this great.  One of the most playful parts was when Robin and Graham described their Courting Curriculum. The list of ways they outlined to grow in their relationship was as creative and expansive as I could imagine, including spending a day together without speaking, and blindfolding your partner to guide them around safely. 

 

One item on the list was checked off when Robin and Graham went hiking in the woods, splitting up intentionally so that they could meet back for lunch to describe what they had seen. Another time each of them expressed where they wanted to be in five, ten, and fifty years. They made a point to let gratitude became part of their vocabulary, as well as forgiveness. 

 

Being professional singers, they included a piece where they gave a picture of the ways couples can offer advice to one another, either wanted or not. We laughed to see them step into that hazy territory between helpful and bossy. 

 

One of the collaborative projects Robin and Graham worked on was a music video on a steam train in the moors of North York. They sang a song from 1597, printed on what is called a Table Book. Each of the four parts faces a different direction, enabling the ensemble to sit around it comfortably and read their part. What a lovely representation of how we each come to marriage with our own perspective. As Graham pointed out earlier in the talk, "What if we are right, and our partner is not wrong?" Having opposite sides need not mean that we are left with discord. 

 

It was a blessing to listen to and watch the way Robin and Graham worked and sang together. Even if our own relationship is much different, getting a window into theirs was a real gift.