The book by Rachel Naomi Remen is a collection of stories. In one she describes a medical student who was alienating everyone on the staff. He was angry, dismissive, and critical. His superiors were fed up. Rachel was asked to work with him.
The first few sessions were mostly a platform for the student to rant about his superiors and fellow students. Once the medical team spoke about a disabled child as if she were not there listening. Another time a doctor neglected to call back the parents who were anxiously waiting for news after surgery. Other days he was livid about missed medications for children in pain who could not speak for themselves.
Rachel was moved to see the depth of his compassion for his patients. Their suffering weighed heavily on him. One way to protect his own pain was to create a shell around himself.
Then in the middle of a session he unexpectedly began to cry. He saw this as failure and abruptly left Rachel's office.
Surprisingly he returned the next week and she tried a guided meditation. He was dubious, but agreed. The student saw a man dressed in a white robe, with outstretched arms. Although he was impatient with the process, he continued, and when a small bird landed on the person's hand in his mind he recognized St Francis. He broke into deep sobs.
Rachel was able to help him come closer to his own deep compassion, and to see himself as a healer.
The story suggests to me that some of the people that I find hard, or vindictive may be trying to survive in a life that has hurt them. Their armor might be what has kept them alive.
