John and I did not have perfect attendance for How to Be A Grown Up 101. We missed the lectures about getting professional haircuts, and changing the air filter on our heating system. I think the only legit cuts I ever had were one at a cosmetology school, in which the student probably got a D on my perm, and a very pricey appointment in Beverly Hills when a friend wanted to pamper me. 

 

Another missed lesson was on car washes. We just never got one. In Florida, it was not an issue because it rains every day, and in Albuquerque we were too poor to care about the outside of our van. In California, we paid our kids a dollar and handed them a bucket. 

 

But recently it became evident that our white car, Anna, was in serious need of a bath. I asked John how much he thought it would cost. He paused. He had no idea, either. 

 

I took Benjamin for moral support, and secretly in the hopes that he might think it was fun and take over the next time. He would be slow, which necessitates extra quarters, but he would be thorough. 

 

The attendant somehow sleuthed out that I had no idea how this works. He showed me the place to get change, and explained the various cycle options. Then he decided I looked inept enough and he did the whole job. 

 

"Stand back, I am using the harshest chemicals." 

 

He was really very gentle about breaking the news to me that my car was seriously neglected. Perhaps he found it gratifying to work on a car that had more grime than accrues in the three-week schedule some car owners keep. But as I mentioned, I am guessing. 

 

I operated the vacuum myself, finding enough leaves for a fall pile, and miscellaneous debris including receipts, and fast food bags. There was a forgotten wallet in a pocket containing three gift cards I hope are still valid. 

 

Anna looked great. I offered the attendant a tip, but he waved me off. 

 

I thought about how vulnerable I had been. If he had shamed me, which to be fair I deserved, the chances of me coming back were zero. But because he made it acceptable to ask for help getting clean, I am a fan for life. And I remembered that the effort to clean up my act brings surprise gifts.