It is becoming something of a pattern. When I am discombobulated within my own orbit, I retreat to watch an episode where the characters are surrounded by clarity. The series The Chosen is about how the disciples grew into their role as apostles. Surely, they have overcome uncertainty, since they are elbow to elbow with Jesus. 

But the one I happened upon depicted the men and women as flawed human, complete with impatience, and misgivings. One of them admitted as much. 

"Most of the time I don't understand this," whispered James. 

Simon shrugged. "Me either. I am just following."

I almost heard a bell inside my head. Feeling confused is not a deal breaker. Rather, it is the rain that invites trust to grow. If I was certain about the itinerary, I would not need to pay attention. Going to my favorite grocery store fits that description. But if I want to expand my horizons to include a better version of myself, there will be unknowns. 

My GPS, whom I refer to as Gypsy, gives me a chance to practice. I appreciate that she only gives me one piece of instruction at a time. I can hold that much information without dropping it. 

It was otherwise when John and I expected to be able to look deeply into the future, and make unalterable choices. It played out more gently than that. Even if our decisions were rough around the edges, but we were leadable, God could adjust. 

Which calms me like a soft, summer rain. 

Love,