There are a few sets of twins in the bible. I had a soft spot for them long before my own family was blessed with doubles. Jacob and Esau wrestled even before they took their first breath. They had conflicts over who was to inherit the blessings meant for the firstborrn son. Perez and Zerah are less known, but have an interesting story. Zerah was just emerging from the womb, and stuck out his arm. The midwife tied a red thread around it so they could remember who came first. But then he pulled it back in and Perez was born. 

It seems a bit random to those of us who live in 2024. Does birth order matter very much? 

But there are other arenas in which we find reasons to wrestle. 

There is a book on my shelf whose title is You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married. It makes me laugh. But it also makes me cringe. How many times have I wanted to be right, at the expense of someone I love? Does it matter who left the car door open and let the battery run down? Is it consequential whether I reminded him to pay the bill, in the face of avoiding a late fee now? 

A friend mentioned that one area in which she and her husband could argue, and sometimes do, is over directions. She has an innate sense of navigation, but sometimes it is not worth it to correct him. 

I once saw a presentation on the development of the fetus. My fuzzy memory is that it swivels several times between conception and birth, with the head and feet having opinions about who is on top. In the end, a good birth is one in which the head is down. 

This corresponds to our spiritual birth as well. Which are we going to prioritize? Truth, and being right, or goodness, and embodying kindness? 

I have wrestled with this. There are days when I actually keep my mouth shut, when I could point out that I was correct. What I am aiming for, is when being sanctimonious matters less to me than being close to the person I love.