Being present when a couple makes a promise is a sacred place to be. Weddings are delightful, of course, with festivity, and stunning gowns, and lavish food. The vows are in there too, but they are quieter. 

John and I were invited to a betrothal service, which is a ceremony that precedes the wedding. Close friends and family gathered in a chapel to witness a couple stepping from engagement into betrothal. It was like peeking into heaven. 

We sat in the back, and helped the cluster of people sing a few songs. It was a gentle way of adding our blessings to the young man and woman who stood before God that morning. They wore purple, which is a royal color, and one that is a blend of blue and red. Perhaps it symbolizes the new color that will emerge from their two lives blending. 

Marriage is meant to be more than just living in tandem. Each person changes with the effort and mystery of joining their lives into a shared purpose. One couple we love expresses this by combining their names into a melded one. From Lukas and Amy they are Lamey. 

I thought about our own betrothal service on a hill, on an October morning in 1979. We stood with the minister, who read from scripture. The only witness was a deer watching from the grove of trees nearby. 

Sometimes I wonder if there are physical changes that have happened over our marriage. Do we look more like each other? I hear that choirs breathe in sync, or maybe it is their heart beats. Does that happen over the course of a lifetime? 

I wish I understood it better. But then, I barely know the workings of my own aorta and pulmonary arteries. So maybe God doesn't really need advice from me.