I recall a time when I noticed that I was piling on the demands for people I love. Especially if they were in a busy streak, I would save up my requests for the brief time between when they were rushing down the stairs and out the door. 

"Don't forget the trash!"

"I need you to pick up Benjamin!"

"Can you please get bananas when you are at the dentist? It is right across from the produce place."

Even if I ask nicely, it is still lopsided. I wondered if my kids would start to avoid me entirely. 

I made an effort to add other kinds of interactions in the mix. Appreciations for past chores, friendly comments about the upcoming day, messages of affection are all good things to express as well.

The ongoing list of prayers I keep is full of requests. I hold friends who are hurting, or out of work, or scared in a special place when I pray. I sometimes sing for them, or imagine a lovely outcome. It can be dedicated time, or while I am in the thrum of sewing. But the truth is, it is often a stream of requests. 

"Please be with them as they try to navigate this illness."

"May they feel the presence of their dad, and know that he is happy in heaven."

"If there is a way for me to support that couple, give me a sign."

There is nothing wrong with these Divine to do lists, But they stop before the circle is complete.  

I am trying to also go back and be present with those yearnings a week, or month or year later. Sort of like thank you notes.

"God, thank you for the safe arrival of my friend's baby. It is a miracle, and I rejoice with their new journey as parents."

"Lord, the time in the hospital was hard for them. Yet, they are healing, and I give thanks for the care they were given."

I am trying to find more balance between requests and gratitude. I even go so far as to simply convey my love. If all of our conversations are actually wish lists, I have not progressed past a four year old on her birthday.