John was one of five brothers in six years, and there was surplus energy. Their mom put a mattress in the barn for the purpose of wrestling, and she sent them there when the noise in the house reached fever pitch. 

There was no such rambunctiousness at my house growing up, though we made up for it in other ways. 

John preached about two brothers who found cause to thrash each other. Jacob and Esau began their rivalry even before they were born, which made their mother worry about what was ahead. They vied for the attention of their parents, and the inheritance when it came to that. Esau was impulsive, and when he asked for a bowl of his brother's red lentil stew, the wily cook offered to trade it for his birthright. Most of us have no emotional reference for such a bargain, so let's just say he bartered for the parent's house. The blessing too slipped through Esau's fingers when Jacob pretended to be his brother as their aging father offered his last benediction. 

The story could feel like something we might never have to deal with. But struggle... now you're talking. 

Two things that can appear to be at odds are truth and goodness. This is implied in the title of the book on my shelf called "You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married."

There are issues that I grapple with in which I feel like I am giving away the store. Making concessions for ideals I used to have a firm grip on catch me when I am exhausted. 

Jacob wants to reconcile with his brother, and own up to the way he betrayed him. But he is afraid. How long can a grudge last? In his vulnerability, Jacob wrestles with an angel all night long, and it pushes him to the limits of his endurance. 

I know the feeling. 

Yet it is not in spite of that grappling, but through it, that I inherit the abundance that God longs to thrust in my unworthy hands. 

"Truth apparently comes first when we are being reborn, and goodness, second; but goodness is actually in first place, and truth, in second. This fact becomes clear once we have been reborn. When the pattern reverses, goodness openly takes its leading position—that is, it starts to exercise control over truth." Heavenly Secrets 4256