There was a mathematics professor at Berkley who puzzled over the disparity in his students' success. Asian kids performed well, while African Americans were struggling. To be accepted into Berkley he knew they had to be high performers, so there must be a different reason. Something he could measure. He asked permission to follow their habits. 

The black kids, it turned out, were spending more time leaning over the books, but they did it alone. The Asian students worked in groups. He challenged the solitary kids to change their patterns, and in a matter of weeks their grades improved. 

It makes sense. The groups I belonged to when my children were small were a lifeline. When we moved from Florida to New Mexico, and then to California, finding my tribe was a priority. Twenty-five years later I am still in touch with some of them. 

It is not always simple to do, however. To begin with, we need to articulate to ourselves who we are. Which involves being self-aware. 

There are a myriad of qualifiers we can use to categorize ourselves, from our ethnicity to our taste in cuisine. Some matter more than others, in terms of a sense of belonging. 

As winter blows in to those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, may we each find our people. The ones who have seen us falter, and not given up on us. 

Sometimes, even just one to stand with us is enough. 

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go as a group."