John started avoiding gluten back in the eighties, before it was trendy. Back then, ingredients were more mysterious, while now there are entire sections in the grocery store devoted to gluten-free products. I recall asking a waiter in a restaurant thirty years ago about the contents of an entrée. He checked with the chef. 

 

"No problem. It does not have wheat, just flour."

 

Now there are gluten-free menus. 

 

It is important to John, to the point of being almost annoying how he reads the ingredients on every item, when all I want is to start eating. But his motivation to avoid cancer is weighty. Even a small amount of wheat in an otherwise delicious piece of cake is too much. Tasting yummy does not erase the impact on his colon. 

 

Recently, I have been examining some of my responses to people I interact with. Are they based in unhealthy feelings? It can be tedious to pick apart the contents, which often include both reasonable and judgmental tendencies. I try to convince myself that it is within my rights to criticize this person. 

 

But it still causes damage to my innards. 

 

What surprised me, was that after a couple of days of intentional purging, my conversations actually felt better. Less heavy. It turns out that it is also within my rights to be kind.