Not everyone has gifts as their Love Language. Gary Chapman wrote a landmark book about ways to express our affection for others, and one of the five avenues he describes involves carefully chosen presents. Which comes up at Christmastime.
There are opportunities to miss the mark. I
remember specifically asking my father for a stretchy pair of long johns in red and white.stripes. But when he arrived at the store and lifted them from their hanger, he was in disbelief. This shriveled thing was what his daughter wanted? He got me a stuffed parrot instead. It was a perfectly cool parrot. But I was sad.
I have failed multiple times in my efforts to give my adult children what they want. The problem, if you can call it that, is that they mostly make
more money than I do, and typically buy things before I get a chance. Or I get the wrong size, or brand, or color. Also, their generation eschews a glut of possessions. Plus they live in small apartments, or fly internationally with only a carry on.
But the part I marvel at is that the collective attention in December is one of curiosity.
"What would she like?"
Even if nothing appears under the Scotch
pine, such a question is pivotal. Rather than asking what I hope for, which is where my attention was when I was twelve, I am investigating the desires of someone I love. God can work with that.
While I remember the disappointment of half a century ago, I reluctantly admit to myself that I have forgotten the presents that made me throw my arms around my dad. Which says something about me.
There was another time he gave me
precisely what I needed, and I did not have to ask. We were driving to summer camp in Canada, and I had climbed into the passenger seat barefoot. Halfway through New York, he turned to me.
"You did bring shoes, right?"
I blushed.
Without reprimand, dad turned the wheel and drove into a shoe store parking lot. I got a pair of sandals.
"For your
Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. " Matthew 6