A bunch of people I know are participating in a spiritual growth group focused on forgiveness. We read passages, share stories, and explore what it means to apologize, forgive, reconcile. Yet there is no actual space for amends to take place. Perhaps it would be too contrived to use real life examples. Our group is comprised of couples and it is not a stretch to imagine there is material for pardons.
A friend mentioned how she brought resolution to some of the conflicts in her classroom. When there was a snarl of hurt feelings at recess, she would begin the afternoon with a clearing.
"Is there anyone who wants to apologize for something that happened outside?"
Awkward pause.
One timid hand would go up.
"I'm sorry for snatching the ball, Amanda." A nod of acknowledgement.
Another hand slid past a boy's ears. "I am sorry I called you stupid, Tony." Tony looked over his shoulder.
Then another, and another until the air felt saturated with the exhaled angst. Feelings that could have festered lost their grip.
Since she taught in a Waldorf school, this teacher followed her students up the ladder, and they were given this arena for forgiveness as the need arose for several years. In second grade it was maybe only twice. By fifth grade it was perhaps monthly. The kids matured in their ability to apologize such that they would initiate it.
Maybe they won't need to join a group to learn how.
