It was delightful to see a production of Fiddler on the Roof. Tevye was a poor milkman with five daughters. His relationship with God was one that included daily, if not hourly, conversation slipping into gentle chiding. Those of us in the audience could not quite hear what God said in response, but it was affable enough to keep the dialogue going. 

Like many parents, Tevye had opinions about his daughters' marriages. He leaned heavily into wealth and stability, with an assumption about religion. Yet his daughters were drawn toward love, and partnership. Such luxuries were not easily available to a Jewish girl with no dowry. This conundrum dropped their father into the impasse between adhering to unshakable tradition, and the soft longing in his daughters' eyes. It even challenged him to ask his wife of twenty-five years whether she loved him.  

"Do I love you??" Golde was incredulous, almost annoyed at the frivolousness of the suggestion. She had chores to do, and her desires had never earned a place at the table. Yet he kept asking. 

There is a place for inquiry. Recommitting to your partner when the relationship is on autopilot, can be prudent. 

Tevye was stretched to his limits by his daughters' wishes, which in his mind should not even exist. He was the Papa. But children gradually become adults, and must grapple with choices that will last a lifetime.  

It seems that our true Papa, the one who wishes for our happiness more than anything, seems committed to our freedom as well. Even if one daughter chooses a tailor, another a rebel, and a third a Christian.  

“The varieties and diversities in marriages... exceed all number.”
Emanuel Swedenborg, Married Love 324