This was exam week at the high school up the road. It was our pleasure to visit the senior girls during the last period of their religion class. John and I invited them to tell us about a couple that has inspired them. Then in the interest of better communication, we taught them my favorite tool, which is called The Five Yeses. One person makes a statement and the other asks questions about it until they arrive at five "yeses". The room buzzed with their animated conversations. It was great to hear their reactions, which included being more curious, and feeling heard. Several said that the questions helped them understand themselves better. 

Next we described a skill called "Name that Feeling." Quite simply, one person does a short monologue and the listener tries to name the feeling being expressed. 

"Were you frustrated?"

It was a fresh chance to delve into the heartbeat of what someone is saying to you. Again the room thrummed with their lively voices. 

John and I sang a song about the Prodigal Son, and spoke about how it gives depth to what forgiveness looks like. We described the five flavors of apology outlined in Gary Chapman's book. Then I had a big ask. 

"People don't usually talk about asking for, or giving forgiveness. But it is a vital part of relationships. I am hoping that you will tell us a story of a time when you forgave someone, or they forgave you." 

The sharing that happened was the most precious part of my day. Maybe the whole week. The girls spoke honestly about struggles that have been resolved, and a few that are still painful. They were brave.

I asked if there was a song they would like to end with, thinking mostly about the ones that show up in church or camp. But a girl in the back timidly asked for the one about the meatball. 

I belted out "On Top of Spaghetti" and they joined in. Then another girl tried to remember a song about an old lady who warbles. "Boom Chicka Boom" is one I have been doing with kids for years. Singing it with a room full of young women on the brink of graduation was the most joyful part of my day. 

Maybe the whole week.