There was a plea for support on social media. A mother told the truth about how hard life is right now, and the regret she feels over her inability to handle it. A cascade of encouragement followed from other mothers who have been there or are still there in the trenches. It was generous, and genuine. 

I do not know if there were any tangible effects of their care, like a pot of soup, or an offer to babysit. Not all of the women writing live within fifty miles of each other. I hope that there were. But even if there were not, it is my experience that just that exchange of vulnerability and empathy can do wonders. 

There were points in my own decades of mothering when I did not know whether I could go on. Illness that flattened us, hospital stays, tumultuous teenagers, job insecurity all robbed me of calm. We did not have cell phones back then, but we mothers did find ways to tug each other out of the mud when we were stuck. We saw each other as imperfect, and lovable. 

My memory is that we were willing to ask for help. 

One rock bottom time was when Benamin escaped. He was three years old and his curiosity drew him to bolting down the street. All of us were on the alert to know his whereabouts, and to employ the three locks on the front door. But he was determined and found his chance. A neighbor assumed I was a negligent parent and called the police. Before the squad car arrived Benjamin was safely back in our home, but the police had to follow up.  They interrogated each of our kids, checked the refrigerator, and threatened to call social services. Because we were in the throes of packing to move, the house was less than orderly. As providence would have it, a good friend walked in the door for a visit, giving us the news about the squad car out front. He quickly figured out that we were in distress, and set up a phone chain to our network of friends to come help with Benjamin, packing, and comfort. 

We were saved. 

This life is a tough assignment. And I am not sure how to express it but somehow failing, and asking for help renders me more grateful than never having struggled at all.

"For everyone who asks, receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. "Matthew 7