Benjamin had a birthday. Celebrating is easy, because his wishes are simple. Four friends met us at his favorite bakery for lunch, and we took a selfie. They know him well enough to nod when he unabashedly praises himself. 

"My buddies are proud of me for inviting you!" 

Savvy has never been part of his mojo. It moves me deeply to witness their willingness to see the goodness in Ben, and brush aside any awkwardness, like crumbs left on his face when he swallows a cupcake. The part of me that wishes he would always behave according to social mores is quieted by such tender mercies. 

One of his gifts was a puzzle. No metaphor there, in the ongoing search for fitting in. Another was a geode kit, complete with bumpy rocks and the promise that if you whack it hard there is something sparkly inside. Another coincidence, surely. There was no hammer included in the box so we must resort to our own tools for breaking open. 

I had no idea a quarter of a century ago what was ahead. That is a blessed naivete. Surely I would have been paralyzed with the details of hospitalization, diagnosis, speech delay, angry outbursts. On the other hand some crystal ball might have foretold the sweetnesses, like how he sneaks extra candy from the post office to bequeath to my sewing students, or takes joy over Bob the Builder while his age mates are advancing their careers. But those delights made more impact with the element of surprise. 

I believe that God is omniscient. Yet he chooses to keep the cards of prediction close to His chest. I have tried to peek on occasion. But he smiles and pulls them in. I don't think it is from a tendency to tease. Ignorance serves me in ways I am still unearthing. 

Still there are certainties I can hang on to. God created Benjamin to become an angel. He lent Ben to our family, not because we would do a better job of protecting him than God can, but because the commitment to trying helps me grow. It turns out that I am in need of cracking open too. 

I won't be here for Ben's next quarter century milestone. Maybe I should take up having parties for his half birthday.