While talking with a trusted friend, she made a suggestion that clicked. When people are motivated by fear, they can dismiss logic. This is true for my relationship with roller coasters. Watching a stream of gleeful riders exit the Matterhorn at Disneyland did not put a dent in my refusal to step into a car. I knew I would die if I did. Hence for the eighteen years our family lived within an hour of both Magic Kingdoms, I waited at the end with the bag of snacks and the current baby, and cheered my brood's safe, if implausible, return to stable ground. 

 

I am not inclined to logic when anxious. John has yet to explain the facts to me in such a way that I release my grip on the inevitable. 

 

There are instances when I wonder why someone adheres to a position that I find untenable. Based on reputable sources, the fallibility of such arguments is clear. The possibility that fear is the glue keeping any of us stuck explains a lot. Yet it can make life less joyful. 

 

In recent years I have untangled my heart from some of the calamities that once made me shake in my boots. I've watched friends and family break rules that I held as incontrovertible, and no one died. In the space left behind as anxiety melted, there has emerged a deeper trust in God. Yes, He is in control when everyone crayons inside the lines, but it turns out that He still is even when we are messy.   

 

"Very different is the case with those who trust in the Divine. These, notwithstanding they have care for the morrow, still have it not, because they do not think of the morrow with solicitude, still less with anxiety. Unruffled is their spirit whether they obtain the objects of their desire, or not; and they do not grieve over the loss of them, being content with their lot. If they become rich, they do not set their hearts on riches; if they are raised to honors, they do not regard themselves as more worthy than others. If they become poor they are not made sad; if their circumstances are mean they are not dejected.  They know that for those who trust in the Divine all things advance toward a happy state to eternity, and that whatever befalls them in time is conducive thereto." Secrets of Heaven 8478