It was an interesting poll. In church the minister asked us to choose between three options. When we are feeling upset, how do we want to be treated?
- A friend gives us their full attention and listens.
- Someone gives us a treat and allows us the space to process on our own.
- A loved one distracts us from the
problem and takes us to do something fun.
The hands went up and down for each option, with fairly even distribution. I know because I looked. It was a playful way to observe the various ways we give and receive love. The speaker's point was that being supportive to someone we love works better when we pay attention to how it lands.
I appreciated the question, and the chance to self reflect. But if I am honest, I cannot recall the response of the two family members on either side of me. Which means I missed a chance to know them better.
Recently a friend described the cohesion he feels with his sister. They both fall into the same category on one of those personality
tests, the ones that still befuddle me. Maybe there is a category for people who fail personality tests.
But it does not give me a free pass when it comes to pondering how best to reach out to loved ones when they struggle.
