Next month is a chance for fresh starts. One of my endeavors will be to invite couples to participate in mentoring. This is not a complicated idea, in fact it is embedded in many parts of our culture. Just not in marriage. Privacy has edged out the support that was once freely available. Which necessitates reinventing the wheel. 

 

A few years back there were twenty four quartets, meaning a younger couple and an older one. Not retirement old, but past the sleep deprived era of young children. These fourseomes agreed to get together in person or by zoom for an hour each month to check in. I offered ideas for things to talk about, which did not center on advice giving. Rather people shared stories, and offered living proof that there is life beyond the early years. Some of those quartets continue to meet, which makes me want to yodel with joy. One group began when the younger couple was dating, continued when they were engaged, kept going through the wedding and the birth of their first child, and are meeting soon in anticipation of another baby. The sweetness of that shared connection is genuine. 

 

Mentoring is one of those math defying win-win scenarios. The lines between giver and receiver are blurred, because everyone benefits. One of the couples we met with asked for eight o'clock meetings, which is hovering around the zone where my brain slows down. Often I began the zoom with low energy, and by the end of the hour I felt rejuvenated. Where did that energy even arrive from? 

 

Another aspect of mentoring that delights me is that it does not hang on a few experts. As if such a thing exists. When we offer ourselves with the willingness to support someone else, love arrives. 

 

And that is the opening God needs.