Marriage Moats-The Latch

Published: Sat, 06/11/22

Marriage Moats Caring for Marriage
 
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                                                                             Photo by Chara Smith

I have a friend who lost seven chickens last year. Her dogs got in when someone left the gate unlatched and they pounced. Feathers were everywhere.
 
She loves her dogs and loves her bantams, but everything works better with a strong fence between them.
 
Once my son with autism opened the gate for the chickens next door. I could not figure out what would have sparked that behavior until I remembered he had just watched Chicken Run. The plot of the Wallace and Gromit movie is the escape of fowl, and Benjamin felt a rush of compassion for the hens across the street.
 
I heard a man speak at a conference about his book "Close Calls" which describes how vulnerable we can be to infidelity. The event was packed with presenters but his sticks out in my mind as brimming with urgency. He told a vivid story about his pastor running off with the choir director, and the eruption of pain in his church community.
 
Dave Carder described the fencing that keeps marriage and friends separate. He gave a list of ways the gate between them slides open, like emails and messages that you would not want your spouse to see, or increased eagerness for seeing a friend rather than your spouse.
 
He suggested that the biggest danger is thinking that you are somehow immune. It is when we stop double checking the latch that the feathers start flying.


 



Love, 
Lori