One of my sewing machines is named Ruby. She has been busy, since my Bernina, whose name is Goldy, is having a spa day. Make that month. Repairmen are backed up, plus the place I take my girls is under new management.
Ruby and I have made a Tree of Life, Storm at Sea, and a bee quilt together. With my favorite music playing it is a great gig. Yesterday Ruby started squealing. Fortunately I have oil at the ready, and squeezed a drop into each of the dozen holes on a featherweight's body made expressly for maintenance. She gave a satisfied sigh, and we continued our project.
There was a time when I did not have an oil can within reach. Call me the Tin Man caught in the rain, but it was not part of my routine. My faithful girls did not get the attention they needed. It turns out that squeaking is not the issue, though it is what grabs my attention. Noise is the means by which machine parts cry out in pain. Putting in ear plugs may obfuscate the sound, but it doesn't do Ruby any favors.
Last month John and I were meeting with a couple whose relationship has friction. They were frustrated with one another, and perhaps wanted us to convince the other to see the error of their ways.
We began as we always do, with a pattern of uninterrupted listening. It took a couple of gentle reminders that one person speaks until they are finished. Then we introduced brag time, modeling what it looks like to appreciate the person sitting next to you. I had the feeling this was not familiar territory for them.
The next time we met they remarked at how those two simple practices had already eased the tension. They had remembered to resist interrupting, and to express gratitude. Even without directly addressing the Problems, they had softened.
Oil is a symbol for love in many stories. Injecting it into a fractious relationship can lessen the impulse to squeal.
A certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the Lord. And the creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves.”
So Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me, what do you have in the house?” And she said, “Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.”
Then he said, “Go, borrow vessels from everywhere, from all your neighbors—empty vessels; do not gather just a few. And when you have come in, you shall shut the door behind you and your sons; then pour it into all those vessels, and set aside the full ones.”
So she went from him and shut the door behind her and her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured it out. Now it came to pass, when the vessels were full, that she said to her son, “Bring me another vessel.”
And he said to her, “There is not another vessel.” So the oil ceased. Then she came and told the man of God. And he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debt; and you and your sons live on the rest.”- 2 Kings 4
