Last Friday Benjamin was over the top happy. His desk held the expressions of kindness that had come his way, including cards, brownies and extra treats. He was singing and laughing between calls from his siblings, wishing him a happy birthday.
It made sense that his mood was good. I understood it. The next two days were less jubilant. At first I was miffed that his joy was so easily forgotten.
Then I stepped back to look for reasons. The snow storm cancelled his weekly walk, and a planned outing with friends. Since everyone had called the day before the phone didn't ring. Plus the intake of sugar had probably caused a spike in blood sugar. It made complete sense that he was grumpy. Instead of judging him, I felt compassion.
Monday morning he was cheerful again, and eating breakfast when the videoconference with his psychiatrist began. For twenty minutes three adults discussed his failings, and successes, meds and diet. She said goodbye and we ended the call.
Then he started yelling.
What the heck?
I fell into annoyance again, until I made it less about me and more about him. Is it possible that he gets triggered by these Let's Analyze Benjamin Sessions? In a moment my disapproval melted.
My initial complaint was that he can so quickly vacillate between cheerful and angry. But the truth is that my interpretation of his behavior swivels just as abruptly.
It is a luxury to be privy to the backstory of another person's behavior. There is a four minute
video in which a teacher harshly reprimands a boy for being late. But when he learns the reason why the teacher feels only compassion.
Maybe I can look closely into someone else's world, and discover empathy even without knowing the reasons.
Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
John 20
