It does not make sense if your last math class was in second grade. Counting simply does not go far enough when you try to comprehend compassion.
The people who have reached out to us over the years around Benjamin's struggles have their own potholes too. I do not know all of the particulars, but there are enough to exhaust a box of tissues. Job insecurity. Dementia. Suicide. Health problems. Money concerns. Anxiety. Hurricanes. Yet here they are, offering prayers and encouragement, rather than keeping those resources for themselves.
Amazing.
This week a house caught fire in the early morning a few blocks from us. Benjamin went out to collect the trash cans from the street and took longer than usual. I wondered why but was not worried enough to go hunting for him. After a few minutes he reappeared with an announcement.
"A house burned down!"
Gulp. Had he taken it into his own hands to investigate?
"I told the fire fighters that they are as brave as the cowardly lion." He smiled.
"That was really nice of you, Ben!" I did not say, though I thought, it would be a good idea to tell me before you head into an active emergency.
One of the Venn Diagrams that Ben drew recently was about numbers. He likes numbers. They resist the fickle changes that show up in faces and feelings. Which confuse him in their unpredictability. Numbers do what they say they will do. You can count on them in a pinch.
In case you are not on a first name basis with algebra, let me spell it out. The left circle contains squares... 2 x 2 is 4, 3 x 3 is 9, 8 x 8 is 64, 27 x 27 is 729. The circle on the left is comprised of cubes. 3 x 3 x 3 is 27, 2 x 2 x 2 is 8, 4 x 4 x 4 is 64, and 9 x 9 x 9 is 729. The bottom circle has odd numbers. Also multiples of three. The one numeral that fits all descriptions is 729, and gets the place of honor in the middle.
But back to compassion.
When you offer care for someone who is struggling, it does not deplete the mercy you have for the people in your immediate care. On the contrary, it adds to it. If you allow yourself to feel love for still another friend in need, it increases again by a factor of two. If you crack open your heart still wider and access empathy for yet another person, it expands further. But not by addition. Not even by multiplication. By powers. In a surprisingly few steps the magnitude of care explodes.
Until there is enough to go around.
But lest your brain be taxed by these calculations, let me share another of Benjamin's favorite subjects. Since today is his birthday we will probably indulge in one of them.
Dessert.
