Marriage Moats-The Apple Man
Published: Thu, 03/17/22
| Marriage Moats | Caring for Marriage |
 This is the Apple Man. He sells honeycrisps so sweet that people have been known to drive many miles and stand in long lines to get them, even before they plunk their money down. I know someone who went two hours each way to buy twelve cases.
The Apple Man did not come to market today, because honeycrisps aren't on the trees in March. His branches are empty.
But he isn't worried, having seen winters aplenty. Waiting does not frighten him. He will take care of the orchards in the meantime, pruning and fertilizing.
He looks happy to be selling them to eager customers, after months of labor and watching tiny promises grow into fruit. He has more than he can eat personally, so he brings them to the Farmer's Market and trades them for cash. I would venture to say that he is proud of his crop and feels good about the time he spent coaxing apples to grow.
He looks like he has been at it a few years, and has learned some tricks about worms and bees. I could ask him some of those practices, and he would likely be cheerful about passing them on. But I would be better off following him in his orchards, month after month. Wisdom is not easily transferred in a five minute conversation, and experience never is.
Someone could be fooled into thinking that his job is easy: just pick apples and rake in the dough. But his story is longer than that, beginning with seeds and grafting, tilling and irrigation. He spent many lonely hours, long before anyone even predicted they would want apples next fall. He dealt with problems I will never give a second thought to as I sink my teeth into the juicy flesh.
Marriage is a place for fruit and growing too. Sometimes we notice another smiling couple, perhaps at a party, and think they have an easy time of it. We are blind to the months and years of effort that preceded this moment of sweetness. Perhaps there were stretches of loneliness, working with a relationship that felt empty, and habits that had to be pruned away. Probably wormy feelings came wiggling in, and they had to learn how to deter
them. There was cross fertilization of honeyed ideas from other blooming marriages. Maybe the waiting for warmth frightened them, when it went on longer than they were expecting.
Yet here they are now, laughing and touching. I could ask them about it, and they would look at each other and wonder what to say, what to leave out.
But wisdom is not easily transferred in a five minute conversation, and experience never is.
There is a knowledge of the way through walking in it,
and a walking in the way through knowledge of it.
-Divine Providence 60
Love, Lori Photo by Jenny Stein www.caringformarriage.org
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