I read a provocative blog about listening to those who don't agree with you. The author posits that if you cannot articulate the other person's beliefs, convincingly, not sarcastically, you don't really know what they are saying. 

 

When our father was in grad school for a degree in counseling he practiced on his kids. We ran through exercises in reflective listening when other dads were tossing footballs in the back yard. While we may have missed out on lucrative careers in the NFL all of us have used mirroring into middle age. 

 

Knowledge can open doors. It can also be used as a barricade. I am guilty of migrating towards the information that reinforces what I already cling to, while skimming past the facts that don't fit my stance. 

 

When John has an opinion that differs from mine, or makes a choice that contradicts my preferences, it is too easy to keep piling up reasons like bricks, rather than be curious. If contempt for another person is the cloaked agenda within our point of view, "winning" is really losing. And what is lost is of great value.