A video called Off the Left Eye held my attention. The host promised to articulate three simple portals through which to love people. Who doesn't need that? 

 

He began with the analogy of a smart phone that is not connected to the internet, which, sadly, cannot do much more than a flashlight. But once it is fired up with the invisible forces of the cloud it can access unlimited knowledge, connection, music and insights. 

 

Our minds are programmed with a Divine Design, intended to link us up to unfettered resources and power. But only if we are connected to the Source. Without it we are not much more than a body.

 

The first proposal was to try to make others happier than we are ourselves. When we are caught in traffic, it is tempting to preempt the needs of everyone else on the road with the narcissistic notion that they are merely obstacles in our path. But if we believe that they are fully human, en route to someplace that matters to them, we can tamp down the demons that inflate our desires above theirs.  It is possible to wish them well. More than well. 

 

I carried the thought with me as I headed to the dentist the next morning. My arms were full of the quilt I would hand bind while waiting in the office,  and a bag of clothes to donate to the thrift store. As I pulled into the main road I saw the long line of cars, and my impulse thought was snarky. 

 

"You are all in my way."

 

But then I remembered. They have places to go that are as valid as mine. 

 

In the waiting room the thought occurred to me that the other people there, whom I have been known to resent simply because they increase my wait time, have needs too. I leaned in to the conversation an older man had with the receptionist. She was offering him empathy for his wife. When he sat down he complimented me on my quilt. How about that. He is human as well.

 

When it came time to pay the bill I heard old tapes around how I can't afford this. The amount was two thirds of what I will charge for the quilt in my arms, which I have spent two weeks making. But then I noticed the equipment, and staff, and office building. The dentist has expenses and has served my family well. He too is human. 

 

The intention to promote someone else's happiness sure comes in handy in marriage too. When I can manage to put John's welfare center stage it relegates my own insatiable wants to the sideline. Which, more often than not, somehow makes me happy.